Years ago, the only car reviews you could read came from motoring journalists. Clarkson and Co aside, what you got was a reasonable and restrained summary of a model’s strengths and weaknesses.
Ah, but that was before the internet. Today, anyone with a keyboard can review a car. And they do — with extravagant praise, brutal honesty, tales of woe, colourful comparisons and a fair bit of gibberish.
Often, the reviews say more about the owners than the cars. But we don’t mind that. We love owners’ reviews and for your reading pleasure, we’ve collected together some of our favourites.
All of the quotes are from genuine owner reviews gathered from well-known sites, with only minor tidying for formatting.
We know that people get attached to their cars. However, some owners are so loyal that they get a bit carried away. Take this review of the bizarrely named Renault Wind:
Everyone gasps when you show them how big the boot is and they are even more shocked when they realise the roof doesnt fold into it!
Does it really raise gasps of amazement? From everyone? We might gasp if you could fit a live cow into the boot. Much less than that and we’d probably give just a mildly positive comment.
Another proud owner highlights the Renault Wind’s attractiveness and rarity:
It is also definitely a head turner as people question ‘What car is that?’ I even had someone ask if it was a Porsche,
Though in fairness he points out that the questioner was:
unfortunately not a highly knowledgable car critic
So the Renault Wind looks like a Porsche to someone who can name other makes of cars, but doesn’t know what they look like. Excellent.
Lastly, people can heap praise on the most unlikely brands. Take Proton, for example. You might think that this Malaysian manufacturer is only notable for making completely forgettable cars. But you’d be wrong, according to this breathless owner of a Proton Wira:
This vehicle comes under very cheap price range and also low road tax and insurance group and has been the best car I have ever owned and I really do like it and I can not rate this any higher. What a car, what a drive!
And a second owner chimes in with:
…it’s not a super car but it’s better than one!!
To help you decide if the Proton Wira is better than a supercar, please refer to the picture below.
Brutal honesty and tales of woe
This outpouring of love for a car is perfectly balanced by the hatred others feel. Some criticism is pithy, getting straight to the point:
Small, cramped and boring.
Citroen C3 Owner
Other reviews are more droll:
On opening the bonnet you find what looks like an engine, but it is in fact two mice on a treadmill. This makes overtaking difficult or even dangerous
Daewoo Matiz Owner
And other reviews are downright alarming, like another owner of a Daewoo Matiz. He reports that his car:
…regularly had a problem with electric fuel gauge inside the fuel tank meaning exposed electric wires were just left in the fuel.
Crikey, that doesn’t sound good. But in our opinion, none can compare to this tale of woe from the owner of a Rover 75:
I lost 3000 pounds on this car and out of psychological trauma i ended up buying two cars after that Honda and Peugeot 607 diesel . one day on my way to the dealer to get rid of the Rover ….the water hose broke 3 times and i ended up scooping the street water rain with both hands to fill it up again.
What a terrible journey that must have been. We wish him well.
Thanks for sharing!
Lastly, there are those reviews that leave you none the wiser about the car. Take this poor guy’s review of a Citroen Xsara Picasso:
…wen I left the garage I felt gutted all this work is going to cost me well over 500 pounds wen I confronted [xxx] they didn’t want to no they said what do you want a new car I traded in a lovely car with a full M O T and gave them 400 pounds cash the deal was worth 1350 quid but look what I ended up with im really angry with them as I feel I gave them a nice car with cash and no I don’t wan a new car I just wanted a fair deal I have contacted VOSA and am awaiting a reply as this vehicle is unfit for purpose. all I can say now is be very careful wen buying a vehicle of [xxx]
Now, we’re sorry that he got ripped off. But from a reader’s viewpoint, the obvious problem is that unless you’re buying a Citroen Xsara from that particular vendor, it’s not really going to help anyone.
And sticking with Renault, we love this fantastic review of a Renault Laguna:
It has got a button on the gear stick for an extra gear but I didn’t get round to reading the manual to find out what it does – possibaly for extra power for over taking but didn’t find out.
The review concludes, very sweetly:
Thank you for reading. Tracey
Awww. No, thank you, Tracey. We didn’t learn anything about the car, but we’re still all the richer for reading it.
The Welsh VW Specialist blog covers a wide range of automotive topics, from the contentious to the light-hearted. We are an independent garage specialising (as the name suggests!) in all the VW group marques, including Audi, Volkswagen, Skoda and SEAT. Welsh VW Specialists provide services, repairs and MOTs, delivering a main dealer level of care at affordable prices. To book your vehicle in, or for any enquiries, get in touch.